Morgan Sent Back to Earth After Stabbing St. Peter in the Chest

QC-P
  by Gabriel
Celestial Bystander
June 9, 2014
 

Tracy Morgan was welcomed into and then summarily rejected by the Heavens after an incident at the pearly gates Sunday.
"What the fuck!" yelled St. Peter, celestial doorman, after Morgan stabbed him in the chest.
"Oh, sorry, I must have misapproximated the situation." replied Morgan, who had ascended following a traffic accident.
St. Peter, though not permentantly injured, was divinely annoyed by the altercation.
"Who does that?"
"What- how am I supposed to think when a Hell's Angel-looking-dude tries to give me a titty-twister?"
"I was offering you welcoming hand- and I am a real angel, dammit!"
"Look we can agree to disagree," said Morgan. "Can I have my knife back?"
While Morgan's offenses weren't enough to send him Hellward, he was sentenced to a lengthy physical recovery and 19 years of opening for Kevin Hart.

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